Childhood is a time of wonder, but it can be tough for siblings of children with special needs or chronic illnesses. These siblings may get less attention from parents and may have to take on more responsibilities. They might also feel they need to be perfect to help their families.
The good news is that siblings of children with chronic illness often have very strong relationships. They can become more caring and better friends with each other.
While children with special needs need help, their siblings need support too. Here are some ways parents and others can help:
- Communication
- Model open and honest communication.
- Encourage siblings to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Help them talk about what it is like to live with someone with special needs.
- Help them understand their sibling’s condition with simple, clear facts.
- Help them learn short answers to explain their sibling’s needs.
- Offering emotional support
- Show that you understand their feelings and that it’s okay to feel what they feel.
- If you see them having a hard time talking about their feelings, show them how to do this. If you need help, ask a friend or therapist.
- Offer empathy, comfort, and reassurance. Be patient as they learn to talk about their feelings.
- Establishing flexible routines and schedules
- Use a calendar to help siblings know what’s going on.
- Try to schedule visits for your child with special needs at times that don’t change the usual family routine. This shows siblings that their activities are also important.
- At times, when family routine is disrupted suddenly, give siblings special attention or tasks. Here are some examples!
- If you cannot make it to a school concert, have a friend or family member attend the sibling’s event.
- If a child with special needs has a medical emergency near family meal time, ask the sibling to work with a family member or trusted neighbor to help prepare the meal. This can be a distraction and offers one-on-one attention to the sibling.
- Create routines that are fun, creative, and easy to change, like daily book reading or story sharing from memory.
- Supporting independence and autonomy
- Encourage siblings to speak up for their needs and set boundaries. This helps them learn to balance their responsibilities and personal needs.
- In age-appropriate ways, work with them to find out how they want to help the family (e.g., making artwork for their sibling’s hospital room).
- Thanking them for their help. Also make sure they get to do things they enjoy.
- Working with the school for additional support
- Talk to teachers and school staff about what’s going on at home. This helps them understand and support siblings better.
- Work with teachers to notice how siblings are doing at school.
- If there is a need for additional support or changes in your child’s school behavior, consider seeking support through your school counselor or school psychologist. Highlight how the sibling’s situation gives them new skills and knowledge. Encourage teachers to invite siblings to use these skills in the classroom.
- Catching positive behaviors and celebrating successes
- Celebrate siblings’ successes, big or small.
- Use labeled praise to catch positive behaviors.
- Accessing professional help
- If siblings are having a hard time coping, consider additional help. A mental health professional can help them learn different ways to improve their coping.
- Talk to the healthcare team treating your child with special needs for advice on supporting siblings. They can offer additional ideas and resources.
Resources:
- Support for a Special Needs Sibling | SpecialEdResource.com
- Special needs parents: Here’s how to make sure your other kids are supported – Today’s Parent (todaysparent.com)
- 12 Ways to Support Siblings of Children with Disabilities – Brookes Blog (brookespublishing.com)
- Advice From Siblings of Special-Needs Kids – Child Mind Institute
- Siblings of Children with Chronic Illnesses or Disabilities – HealthyChildren.org
- When your child is diagnosed with chronic illness (oclc.org)
Proper Citation for this blog post:
Walk, K. J., Emick, J. E (March, 8th 2025). Supporting Children Who Experience Chronic Illness or Disability. Retrieved from https://infoaboutkids.org/blog/supporting-siblings-of-children-with-chronic-illness-or-special-needs
