Practicing Acceptance when Raising a Child with Complex Medical Needs
No parent expects their child to have complex medical needs. Whether it’s a long-term illness, developmental disability, or something medical providers are still trying to figure out—it can be overwhelming to coordinate extra medical appointments, advocate for additional services, and battle insurance. Parenting is already one of the hardest jobs and can feel even more difficult with these extra responsibilities.
When something unexpected happens, like finding out your child has a complex medical condition, it’s normal to have scary or upsetting thoughts about how this impacts your child’s future. You might also wonder why this happened to your family, and how you will navigate everything to protect your child. Caregivers of children with a complex medical condition can experience a range of thoughts and feelings that can be uncomfortable, such as sadness, anger, fear or even grief. When we are confronted with these difficult thoughts and feelings, it is often our natural instinct to try and get them to go away. Maybe we do this by distracting ourself whenever the difficult thoughts or feelings come up. Maybe we do everything in our power to control as much as we can around us to avoid those thoughts and feelings. These things can help keep the thoughts at bay for a little while—but often these thoughts and feelings come back, usually even stronger. Also, these strategies take a lot of our mental energy and time.
Another option is to work on accepting those difficult thoughts and feelings that come with parenting a child with complex medical needs. What if we accepted that these thoughts and feelings are part of the journey, and it is okay for them to be there? Perhaps then we could use the energy we spend trying to control our difficult thoughts and feelings for something that aligns more with our values.
Practicing acceptance can help you cope with difficult thoughts and feelings so you can put your energy and attention where you want it to be. Here are a few ways to practice acceptance and care for yourself while caring for your child:
- Recognize that every child’s medical journey is different.
There’s no one right way to raise a child with complex medical needs. Each child has their own unique challenges and timeline. It might take time to find the right diagnosis, treatment, or care team—and that’s okay. There will be ups and downs. Just by showing up and doing your best, you’re already doing something incredible for your child. - Remember that thoughts aren’t always facts.
You might have thoughts like “I’m not doing enough,” or “This is too much for me.” That’s normal. Our brains create thousands of thoughts every day—some helpful, some not. Just because a thought pops into your head, it doesn’t make it true. You get to choose which ones you believe and which ones to let go of. It can be helpful to imagine your thoughts as leaves flowing down a stream and only pick up the ones that are helpful to you. - Take a moment to be fully present right now.
When life feels chaotic, try to pause—even just for a few seconds. You can focus your mind on the feeling of taking slow, deep breaths, in and out. You can use your five senses to bring your awareness to the space you are in by noticing what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel around you. Maybe this is noticing how blue the sky looks, the smell of food cooking, the feeling of the cushion you are sitting on, or the sounds of your child’s laugh while playing. These small actions can help you feel calmer and more grounded in the moment. - Make time for yourself.
Unlike a typical 9-5 job, parenting duties never stop. While it may feel difficult to find time in the day to take a moment for yourself, even a 5 minute break intentionally set for yourself can help. - Let your values guide you.
You won’t always have all the answers, and that’s okay. Make decisions based on what matters most to you: your values. That might be kindness, honesty, courage, or family. When your choices line up with your values, you will feel more at peace with your choices, even when things are uncertain. - Remind yourself that you are not alone.
Caring for a child with complex needs can feel isolating. You might feel like no one else understands what you’re going through. But there are many parents on similar paths. Look for online support groups, hospital programs, or nonprofits that connect families. Consider a podcast or social media group. You might also connect with another parent from your child’s school or someone from a group to which you already belong (e.g., religious congregation). Sharing your story, or listening to someone else’s, can help you feel seen and supported. - It is okay to ask for help.
You don’t have to do it all yourself. Whether it’s a family member, a doctor, a mental health therapist, a member of a community group (or house of worship) you belong to, or a friend—asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Talking to someone and asking for help in any of these ways can help lighten the load.
Need support right now?
Call 9-8-8 for immediate help in a mental health crisis or call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA
Proper Citation for this blog post:
Harris, T. P., & Bakula, D. M. (December 15, 2025). Practicing Acceptance when Raising a Child with Complex Medical Needs
https://infoaboutkids.org/blog/practicing-acceptance-when-raising-a-child-with-complex-medical-needs/
