Our Brain and our Gut Talk to Each Other!
Children often complain of stomachaches when they are stressed or have big feelings. That’s because our brain and our digestive system talk to each other through chemical signals. If you’ve ever felt “butterflies in your stomach” when you were surprised or nervous, that was your digestive system and brain communicating.
Why Does This Matter?
The fact that our digestive system and brain talk explains why children (and adults) sometimes get stomachaches when they are upset.
Many things can cause stress, such as when we feel sick or are in pain. We can also be stressed emotionally, like when we feel anxious, angry, or overwhelmed. No matter what is causing the stress, the brain interprets this stress as a sign that we may be in danger. Even though most stressors are not life-threatening, the body responds like they are by preparing us to fight or run away. This is called the “fight or flight” response.
Stress can happen at all ages, such as when a teenager is worried about a test or a toddler is learning to deal with being told “no.” For some, stress can lead to nausea, vomiting, or having to go to the bathroom immediately. The body puts digestion on pause so it can focus on survival. In most cases though, we do not want or need our body to make this dramatic change.
How Can I Help My Child?
Children can benefit from learning tools to affect the communication between our brain and gut. We can change how the body reacts to stress by practicing relaxation strategies. One strategy is to take slow, deep breaths from the belly (instead of the chest and shoulders). Deep breathing can slow down our heart rate. Deep breathing tells your child’s brain that they are not in a life-threatening situation, and the body does not need to start that “fight or flight” response. The more your child practices deep breaths in non-stressful situations, the more easily they can use this skill when things are stressful. Over time, this can lead to fewer stomachaches (or headaches or other discomforts too). Your child can practice this skill by blowing bubbles or using a pinwheel. They can also imagine a balloon in their stomach that fills up as they breathe in and deflates as they breathe out.
Another way to calm the body is to relax the muscles, such as by squeezing a stress ball, taking a relaxing bath, or trying a skill called “progressive muscle relaxation” (see below for a link for more information).
Negative thoughts like “I’m going to fail this test” or “no one likes me” can affect the body’s stress response too. Some people benefit from psychotherapy (such as cognitive behavioral therapy) to change their thoughts and find ways to handle stress differently.
For parents, caregivers, and young people, practice of these strategies can help you be well on your way to gutsy living!
Citations and more information are available at the below websites:
On Our Sleeves video “3 Deep Breathing Exercises for All Ages”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF6IlcSP1Vc
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia: Progressive muscle relaxation: https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/tools-help-stress-progressive-muscle-relaxation
Healthline “The Gut-Brain Connection: How It Works and the Role of Nutrition”: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/gut-brain-connection
American Psychological Association Speaking of Psychology podcast “The mind-gut connection”: https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/mind-gut-connection
Proper Citation for this blog post:
McKillop, H. N. (2025, February 1st). Why do children get stomachaches when they’re stressed. Retrieved from https://infoaboutkids.org/blog/why-do-children-get-stomachaches-when-theyre-stressed/.
